Mothers and Fathers

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I love you so much, I hate I love you so much. Red oak leaves falling.

Always out of time, Predestined impossible, Shooting stars at dawn.

My shrinking dendrites. Remind me to call my shrink. Odds are I’ll forget.

Such a crazy world. Our heroes? Moving pictures, Descended from apes.

Negotiating Life, exquisitely perverse. Ask a butterfly.

 

Wiped away my tears. Choking back words like cotton, Holding hands with Mom.

Crying in the rain, Inside the bubble we’d made, Beautiful prism.

She won at marbles, Last night she held her Rockwell, To remind her when.

Then she was no more, We’d known each other too well, The last time it rained.

When you’re almost done, Lights are brighter colors glow, Mistletoe will know.

 

Hiding from the light, Death slouches under mean skies, Never shows his face.

Our parents’ childhood Is really all about ours, Masticated balm.

Our fantasies of invulnerability, Take us by the hand.

Alone in the world? Even thru chaos shine a light. Lonely sunflower.

Sobs will not quiet, Coming as they do from God, Listen to the sky.

 

So many chapters, but this page, and the next, blank. Dad I’m missing you.

Sittin on the bench, With you, windy monsoons tease. One small leaf let’s go.

Dads we’re drunj agin. Saint John Paul had a mistress. It’s alright with us.

Mexico with Dad, Not his jam but Corona, Magic by the surf.

Don’t talk Korea, with dad. Brings it back he says, Not his buddies tho.

 

Rockin the hammock, Memory comin back on line, Freight train comin thru.

My rear view mirrors With memories splashed like bugs Smiling back at me.

What is seventeen? Even my kids can’t recall, Scrambled eggs and toast.

Of all I have said, The only things i regret, Left scars like gravestones.

May we consider, Beginning with the people, I’ve already hurt?

 

Parents disappoint. It’s the way from our childhood. Old age benefits?

Made a youthful pact, Swore I would not be like them, Now I can’t recall.

Longevity gained thru pious ascetic ways would be quite dreadful?

If I could change it, All of it, everything, Would be just the same.

Do you lose your skills, Gradually? All at once? I will let you know.

 

Twenty years ago; Today races by again; Twenty more? I’m Dead.

Soft boiled eggs remind, I miss my grandpa, fishin, Wish we could have jammed.

Black tartan plaid, pleated just so, a jumper. My daughter’s grown now.

Over the river, to grammas house we go, wait, I’m gramma! Wake up!

Knocking at my door. Sense of dread followed by joy. One day I’ll answer.

 

I can imagine. Even high above in heaven, Hearts are still beating.

Bird died today, In my garden last she flew, Now become a rose.

So then we shot god, she was the only one left. Is that good enough?

And then you’re nuthin. Just hair, bits of bone, spat out. Make a nice necklace?

Murdered off by life, Excruciatingly fast, And so beautiful.

 

When future arrives, be sure get a deposit. Fix the busted door.

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